I'd like to take this opportunity to congratulate the poor driving of whomever hit our Mini Cooper while it was parked in the street.  We really appreciate the damage you caused to our car.  Since you didn't stick around to take responsiblity for your poor driving, you just cost us $500 from our deductible and caused us the inconvenience of having to run back and forth to the body shop and use a rental car while it's being fixed.

 

If anyone witnessed this accident, we would appreciate your notifying us.